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THE scene opens inside a large room in the centre of which is a table, and seated around the table are several aspiring and perspiring students of Map Reading and Intelligence. The top of the table is covered with military maps and the various impedimenta of the intelligentzia, such as protractors, romers, dividers, compasses, pencils (plain and coloured) etc.

Over all this presides the Coy. I.O. (Intelligence Officer), Lieutenant L-. The Lieutenant is practically a walking storehouse of office equipment and can be relied upon to produce at the critical moment any given article from his stock, such as Posh Pencils, Perfect Notebooks, or Pukka Protractors. After looking at his Gold Wrist Watch, the Lieutenant (or I.O.) deems it the proper time to begin the begin. He produces his Gold Propelling Pencil and proceeds to draw natty little Diagrams on pretty Posh Paper, very much to his own satisfaction, whilst the Class looks on with Proper Respect at this evidence that the Gold Standard is still with us.

There is a general settling down, cigarettes are produced ("No, have one of mine, this time") and lit, by kind permission of the

I.O., earnest heads are bent over Maps, and the impression seems to be of War Chiefs in Council just before Zero Hour!

Perhaps the one bright example in this group of highly efficient Efficiency experts is Private F- . Howls of derisive laughter greet the attempts of Private F-. to make a simple mathematical calculation. Undeterred, however, by this ill-timed scoffing, Private F-. carries on with his abstruse calculations, poring over a large sheet of paper on which rows of figures, hieroglyphics and mysterious lines and angles may be discerned.

After taking away the first number he thought of, multiplying by the enormous number of Parades he has attended, and subtracting the number of miles he has crawled on his stomach (before going into voluntary exile with the Coy. Intelligence) Private F-. is able to announce in triumphant tones that the True Bearing of the church at "Y" from the Pub at "X" is 140 deg.!

When confronted with Awkward Questions he shows an uncanny skill in Evasive Tactics - amounting almost to genius which allows time for some other ambitious pupil to answer FIRST!